If i could go back to myself 2 years ago, id say stick to a system, stop buying too many books, looking for the [secret]. I went from book to book spirit to spirit, system to system. Getting frustrated and desperate. Id cast sigils and spells all day with little results, putting hardly any effort into the actual ritual, quantity over quality, the more spirits the better ones bound to work. Oh dear, well we live and learn.
It was only when i built up a relationship with a spirit did i get results. Before id just say hey you gimmie stuff. Getting into trance and using the pendulum, also offering offerings. Ive had results with servitors olympic spirits some angels and jupiter and mercury. Also sigil magick. The more you put into it the more you get out.
When I 1st started I thought i would see spirits every were voices screaming at me, smoke, fire, things flying across the room, thunder lightning. All hollywood. The only thing during a ritual Ive had visual is a red circle the size of a ring moving on a sigil. That was phaleg the olympic spirit of mars. Mars energies seem to be strong maybe its as my room is painted red?. Ive felt presences, ether in my chest or with Amon in my head heavy light headedness. With Bedary i felt him behind me. When i did some angel work i felt sometimes they coming down. But saw nothing. After a ritual Ive had things happen. After a Clauneck ritual i was in the bathroom and a shadow the size of a dog got my attention on the celing then moved away. After ritual with bedary i was in the kitchen making a burger and saw him on the garden shed. Like a gargolye in contemplation, just for a few seconds then he was gone. Ive had others, when you do a ritual you expect something your ready, but after your a little off gaurd.
Most of the early days was pie in the sky stuff [ i want everything gimmie] Visualization was the main stumbling block for me. Every time i read a book it would mention it and id be pulling my hair out. I currently am unable to, but working with a demon on that, with a strong presence when i call him. Last night he came to me and i felt a throbbing headache but i was told its alright. Ive had a close thing happen before with an angel working on my mind, but not as strong and no results. Any mind stuff its always a headache, never had one before i started the occult. Ive tried staring into candles guided meditation and tattwass. I could have aphantasia what 1 in 60 has and are unable to visualize. It could be a side effect of shaken baby syndrome what i had as a kid. But i’m working on it.
The only negative things Ive had. Were when i downloaded a book, I felt such a sense of dread and a presence behind me, I deleated the book and bought the real thing. Maybe a hex on those who downloaded it without paying. Not with the books were provided by the course it was on a website. The second was against asian unnamed dictator all I did was do a ritual to make him kinder to his people i left a room forgot something tried to get back in and no the door was stuck, i had to take the door off to open it and damage the frame. The third was i outbid a guy on ebay for a book. The next day my magic unraveled and lots of bad things started happening. A few days later I woke up at night sweating having a dream about me punching red head man and knocking him to the floor but my punches were not doing much damage. I instant did a banishing then the next day cancelled the attack and left it at that. Redid my magic and everything returned to normal. If a a guy punched me in the street Id take him down but a guy throwing a magic attack because i outbid him on a book I did not think later maybe i should have thrown something back. But then id be as petty as him. I don’t know, I left it at that as i did not want to be constantly looking over my shoulder with tit for tat magick. if i was a teenager id be throwing things left right and centre.
Id been thinking of doing the course for months, then started having strange dreams, herd my name shouted in an empty house then thinking of astaroth I saw a figure bend down and look at me through a window. Since doing the course Ive had more money come and feeling a presence more in my workings. Also seeing 666 on youtube vid views on most vids i clicked on youtube and when i bought things 666. Strange dreams abound. I wont talk about my workings in the course yet as there ongoing. I do meditation and my working, some days more than 1. But its alot better than when i was doing 5-8 things in a rather than lots of things and hope 1 works. Im more confident, sure of my magick and know results will come. Will post results.
My meditation ether just during the day or when i am doing magick. Tense and release the body 3 times, then relax your muscles from head down. Breath in 6 times hold for 6 release after 6 wait and then repeat. Open the chakras, imagine then your breathing through your pores like a lung, chant aum/omm in your head then imagine you walk down 50 stairs then you come to a festival walk through the crowd the bottom of a hill walk up the hill to a henge stand in he middle there lightning, a flash of light and you feel all powerfull then you walk down the hill to a ruined village you walk through to a forest then a stream. Yo call down source energy then in your head shout what you want times then begin. If your working with a spirit call there name and imagine in all directions to the farthest universe they can hear. Then begin your ritual. If your just meditating miss the last bit. Its a bit bit put together from about 6 systems/books but works for me and gets me in the mood. Gustav holst has music on youtube for the planets that each demon or spirit correspond with play that in a loop. For a moon spirit beethovens moonlight sonata is good. Anything to help get in the mood. Ive tried binerial beats but it leaves a buzzing in my head.
Sorry to ramble hope it helps somebody, that’s my experience anyway.